别小看了生活中的12种“微压力”，压垮你的就是它们

当你觉得生活压力大时，不妨看看鱼在水中自由摆动，它们可能觉得你才是压力缸。 #生活乐趣# #日常生活趣事# #日常生活笑话# #每日笑料推送#

我们都有过这样的经历：累了一天回到家，倒在床上，关上灯，却好不容易才入睡。对一些人来说，这样的事几乎每天都会发生。你可能会把这种状况归咎于某个困难的项目、难搞的客户或者难伺候的老板给你的压力，但你可能不知道的是，能让你累坏的事情还有很多。许多小小的事情会在一整天的时间里都袭击我们，给我们形成压力。这些所谓的“微压力”（micro-stresses）来自于一些你可能未曾考虑过的地方。我们一般每天都要与别人进行大量且频繁的沟通与合作，所接触到的人也非常多元化。当前这种情况更甚于以往任何时候；它产生的压力正在渐渐积累起来，从而严重地影响我们的健康和工作效率。 We all have days when we go home exhausted, fall into bed, turn off the light, and drift into a fitful sleep. For some of us, that happens almost every day. You might chalk it up to a difficult project, client, or boss stressing you out. But what you might not realize is that there is much more contributing to that exhaustion. Stress comes to us all in tiny little assaults throughout our day — what we call “micro-stresses.” And it’s coming from sources you might never have considered. The volume, diversity, and velocity of relational touch points (the way we routinely communicate and collaborate with others) we all experience in a typical day is beyond anything we have seen in history, and cumulatively they are taking an enormous toll on our health and our productivity at work.   你大概也不需要我们告诉你，压力会使你更容易患上慢性疾病和精神疾病，比如抑郁症。据估计，与压力有关的疾病和症状占了所有就诊人数的60-80%。压力对员工非常有害；美国职业安全与健康管理局甚至还将压力称为一种工作场所危害。压力会大大地降低工作效率，因为在压力的影响下，人们会做出质量更差的决策，而且他们在工作上的动力、创新性和成效也会变得更低。无法释放的压力最终会导致职业倦怠；一旦陷入职业倦怠，员工会感到疲惫不堪，并且对工作失去兴趣，而他们的工作表现也会变差。 You probably don’t need us to tell you that stress makes you more susceptible to chronic illness and mental health conditions, such as depression. By some estimates, 60-80% of all doctor visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. Stress is so harmful to employees that the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has declared stress a hazard of the workplace. Stress takes a big bite out of productivity, as stressed-out people tend to make lower-quality decisions and are often less motivated, innovative, and productive in their work. Ultimately, unrelieved stress can lead to burnout, which is characterized by exhaustion, detachment, and poorer performance at work.   问题是，多数人早已把微压力视为常态。我们很少承认它们的存在，但是积累起来的微压力会逐渐把我们压垮。更糟的是，不管是在工作上还是在工作以外，与我们最亲近的人往往就是微压力的来源。根据我们的观察，有12种常见的因素会导致压力；它们都与人际关系有关，而且很有可能已在不知不觉中对你的健康造成了巨大的影响（参见下面图表）。你必须认识到这些压力源的存在，才能开始解决它们。 The problem is that most of us have come to accept micro-stresses as just a normal part of a day. We hardly acknowledge them, but cumulatively they are wearing us down. And what’s worse is that the sources of these micro-stresses are often the people — in and out of work — with whom we are closest. We have identified 12 common “relational” drivers of stress (see chart below) that are likely taking a significant toll on your well-being, without you necessarily being aware of their impact. Until you recognize these sources of stress, you can’t begin to address them.   我们对于微压力的结论是以一系列研究作为依据的。在过去的十年里，我们对数十家领先公司进行了研究，并与数百位科技、生物制药、金融、制造等多种行业的人进行了交流。我们也通过定量研究和深度访谈，请他们讲述自己所遇到的压力有哪些是由人际关系产生的。我们的目标是找出哪些微压力是由我们在工作上和家中的日常互动所直接形成的。我们把这些压力分成了三大类：消耗个人能力（你能用来应付日常生活的时间和精力）的微压力；消耗情绪储备的微压力；对你的身份认同和价值观形成挑战的微压力。这些种类的微压力，对你来说是不是很熟悉呢？ Our conclusions about micro-stresses are based on research we’ve done over the past decade involving dozens of top-tier companies, where we engaged with hundreds of people across industries such as technology, biopharmaceuticals, finance, and manufacturing and asked them to share their experiences of relationship-driven stress with us, using both quantitative studies and in-depth interviews. Our goal was to identify the sources of micro-stresses that are the direct result of the way we typically interact with each other at work and home. We have categorized these stresses into three buckets: 1) micro-stresses that drain your personal capacity (the time and energy you have available to handle life’s demands); 2) micro-stresses that deplete your emotional reserves; and 3) micro-stresses that challenge your identity and values. Do any of these feel familiar?   微压力会在不知不觉中渗入到我们的日常生活中。下面这个图表列出的是12种常见的微压力，以及产生这些压力的人际关系。请选出两、三种给你形成最大压力的人际关系。 Micro-stresses infiltrate our lives in ways we often do not realize. The chart below shows 12 common micro-stresses and the relationships from which they emanate. Select the two or three that systematically drive the greatest stress for you.   重点是，这些微压力都是我们日常生活中的一部分；虽然我们很少会停下来考虑这些压力对我们造成的影响，但是它们会渐渐地积累起来。这些压力虽然只会形成短暂的挑战，但是它们造成的影响却会持续几个小时、甚至几天的时间。我们的研究表明，很多高效的人似乎会不知何故陷入职业倦怠之中。但是，只要更仔细地观察一下，我们就能清楚看到引发职业倦怠的原因：长时间积累起来的一系列微压力。 The point is that these micro-stresses are all routinely part of our day and we hardly stop to consider how they are affecting us, but they add up. They may arise as momentary challenges, but the impact of dealing with them can linger for hours or days. In our research, we have seen a plethora of high performers who seem to inexplicably burn out. But when you look more closely, the trigger becomes clear: a battery of micro-stresses building up over time.   那么，我们应该怎么做，才能减少生活中的微压力呢？有关如何应付消极互动和减少压力的传统建议不奏效，因为微压力早已深深地扎根在我们的生活中，连自己也都看不见。这些微压力通过人际关系和各种互动来到我们面前，而且来得又多又快，想要摆脱它们并不容易。你或许可以选择你在一天之中所遇到的一项微压力（比如一位同事在一个合作项目上表现不达标，或者一位你信任的同事离职），然后试着向一位与你亲近的人解释这件事对你造成的困扰。一直以来，进行这样的讨论都能帮助人们处理和应付压力，但是你可能得花上30分钟把整件事的来龙去脉形容出来，才能让对方在接下来的半个小时里理解你，或者给出一些有效的建议。一个小时后，要么你觉得好过了一些，要么你们两人的宝贵时间都被你浪费掉了。很多时候，我们会每天遇到20-30次微压力的冲击。有这么多的微压力，哪里有时间说得完，哪里会有人肯听呢？ So what can be done to mitigate the micro stresses in your life? Traditional advice on coping with negative or stressful interactions doesn’t work because micro-stresses are deeply (and invisibly) embedded in our lives. They are coming at us through relationships and interactions that are too numerous and high velocity to easily shake off. Consider even just one micro-stress in your day — perhaps the frustration of a colleague missing the mark on a joint project, or the emotional toll of a trusted work colleague moving on — and try explaining it to someone close to you. This kind of discussion traditionally helps people process and deal with stress. But it can take 30 minutes to describe the history, dependencies, and context so that that person can empathize and possibly make helpful suggestions over the next half hour. A precious hour later, you might feel better… or you might have wasted both of your time. In many scenarios, we’re getting hit with 20-30 micro-stressors a day. Who has time to articulate this all? And who, on the receiving end, wants to hear it?   微压力形成的困境比我们以往看到的很不一样，所以我们必须用上新的工具，才能减轻它们的影响。我们的研究表明，有三种做法具有潜力： Micro-stressors pose a different dilemma than we have seen before so we need new tools for mitigating them. Our work shows three promising approaches.   1. 选出两、三个微压力，然后针对它们采取行动。上面的图表能帮助你找出哪两、三个微压力对你的生活造成了持续性的影响。我们一般早已把生活中的这些事情视为“正常”，但是只要稍微调整一下，它们就能发挥巨大的影响。微压力会让人们把情绪憋在心里；只有在释放了这些情绪之后，你才能理性地思考，并做出一个具建设性的回应。 Isolate and act on two to three micro-stressors. The chart above can help you to locate two to three micro-stresses that have a persistent impact on your life. These have typically become things we’ve considered to be “normal” in our lives that if altered can have a significant impact. Micro-stressors create emotional build-up that needs to be released before you can think rationally about a constructive response.   所以，第一个步骤就是解压：暂停一下，把笔记本电脑关上，然后进行一项能帮助你肯定自己、让你聚精会神的活动，好让“那些不可理喻且令你烦恼的事情逐渐融化掉”。当你把你所关注的微压力减少到两、三个的时候，抽出时间和精力来发泄情绪就会变得更容易，如果这样做对你有帮助的话。当我们有机会远离焦虑和防备心理带来的“喧嚣”之后，给我们产生压力的事情看起来就会变得很不一样。只要在我们的人际关系网络中找一些自己信任的人谈谈，我们不仅可以整理出自己烦恼的究竟是什么，以及这件事情为什么会造成困扰，还能从另一个角度看待那些令自己紧张的事情。这样一来，我们就可以针对压力的来源采取行动，比如：跟某人进行一场尴尬但又重要的对话，以改善彼此的关系；拒绝无理的要求或者不健康的行为；加强自己的关系网络，以缓冲消极的互动带来的影响。 So the first step is to decompress — hit the pause button, close the laptop, and undertake an activity that is self-affirming and that absorbs you so “the nonsense of all the things that bother you melts away.” When you narrow the list of micro-stressors you’re focusing on to two or three, it’s easier to find time and energy to vent, if that’s helpful to you. Our stressors often look different after we’ve had a chance to distance ourselves from the “noise” of anxiety or defensiveness. Conversations with trusted people in our network can help to unpack what’s really bothering us and why, or reframe and see our stressors in a different light. We can then act and know that we’re taking direct aim at the source of our stress, for example by having an awkward-but-crucial conversation that can transform a relationship, by pushing back on unreasonable demands or dysfunctional behaviors, or by strengthening the network of people who can help buffer us from negative interactions.   2. 培养人际关系，从事适当的活动，以帮助自己用正确的角度看待无关紧要的微压力。可以肯定的是，在改变视角这件事上，用某些方法进行正念（比如冥想、写感谢日记）能够起到很重要的作用。当然，要想有效地抗压，保持身体的健康非常重要。若要做到这一点，我们就要锻炼身体，摄取适当的营养，并保持良好的睡眠习惯。 Invest in relationships and activities that keep the less consequential micro-stresses in perspective. To be sure, there are truly important mindfulness practices — like meditation or gratitude journaling — that can help on this front. And, of course, maintaining physical health through exercise, proper nutrition, and good sleep habits is probably the most important lever we have for combatting stress today.   但是，人际关系方面的解决方法也很重要：生活更多元化、人际关系更广阔的人不仅会以不同的方式应对微压力，还能从正确的角度看待它们。我们对一些过着积极生活的人进行访谈时发现，他们往往会在各种场合中（比如体育爱好、志愿工作、公民或宗教社群、读书会、晚餐俱乐部、地方社群）交到各行各业的朋友，并与他们维持真诚的关系。在这些领域中进行交流不仅能扩大自己的身份认同，还能帮助他们“敞开视角”，从更宽的角度看待自己的生活。克服大量微压力的关键，就是一些能让自己的生活具有使命感和意义的人际关系。我们要在工作上建立人脉，并在工作以外交一些朋友，才能为自己定义身份，并让自己坚持下来。

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